For all of us recovering English majors

Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog. Here’s a sample:

Aske Chaucere, parte the firste

My
dog is a retriever, but he won’t chase a ball. Every time I throw a toy across the room, he climbs in my lap and licks my face. I know he needs exercise–what do I do?

Pinned To The Floor

Ma Cher Pinnede to The Floore,

By my feithe, firste y oght to praise yow for yowre carefulle husbandrie and governance of yowre hounde. Ther arn sundrie folke who fede ther houndes with rosted flessh, or milk and wastel-breed and reken litel of the helthe of the dogges in question. Yowre care maken
myne eyes to watre with teres, so like it is unto my love for litel Lowys my sone.

Actuallye, a tale of litel Lowys shal bere the kernel of myn counsel unto yow. This yuletide, y gave hym an astrolabe with instructions written by yowres trulie with muchel care and laboure. But whatte does he opene firste? The XBOX CCCLX thatte my Lorde John of Gaunte gave vnto hym. The astrolabe ys styll in its brighte shinye wrappinge papere.

By thys ensample yow might undirstonde that alle thynges taken aftir ther nature, especialie dogges and litel boyes. And Plinie the Eldre telleth us in booke 8 of historie naturale that houndes do chace the enemies and bestes awaie from ther maistres, and yliche that the hostes of Garamante and of Castabale didde usen armies of dogges, for they arn fierce and bloodie. So yow can see thatte “toyes” are not goinge to do it. Yow nede fynden some animal or enemy for yowre dogge to kille, and thenne he will reallye go atte yt.

Le Vostre G

Advertisements

1 thought on “For all of us recovering English majors”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s